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Are you satisfied with your personal life?
Are you confident your business is following a vision?
Is your career the realization of your true passion?

SARA ARBEL – Coach-In

Identifying and achieving goals for a fuller, more satisfying and rewarding life

Focusing on business vision and realizing
ambitious goals

Finding your passion, turning it into a profession,
and you will never have to work another day in
your life.

THE COACH,
LIKE THE ALCHEMIST,
IS STRIVING TO EXTRACT GOLD
FROM BASE METALS.
IS ALLWAYS IN SEARCH FOR THAT
WHICH IS PRECIOUS AMONGST EVEN THE
DREARIEST AND MOST DISCOURAGING ASPECTS
OF HIMSELF AND AND HIS CLIENT'S LIFE.
IT IS AWAITING THERE TO BE
DISCOVERED,
RECOGNISED
AND
POLISHED

Coaching has received growing media attention in the past several years.

The emerging profession of coaching and Coach-U have been covered on the NBC Nightly News, Donahue and CBS This Morning. They have also been featured in Newsweek and USA Today as well as in over 100 other major media outlets.

Here is a brief sample of what the media has said about coaching:
"…want to get even further ahead ?…What you need is a coach, your own personal motivator. They're not just for top-ranked tennis players any more.
"Miami Herald"

"Many independent business owners seek out coaches to keep them stay on track as they build their businesses.
"Los Angeles Times"

"Progressive managers and consultants have long made coaching part of their jobs, helping employees improve their work habits and interpersonal skills. But in recent years, coaching has emerged as a distinct occupation and source of help in the workplace.
"Sunday Oregonian"

For more information:
http://www.coachu.com/
http://www.coachfederation.org/
http://www.coachville.com,

SARA ARBEL – Coach-In

Identifying and achieving goals for a fuller, more
satisfying and rewarding life. Focusing on business
vision and realizing ambitious goals
Are you satisfied with your personal life?
Are you confident your business is following a vision?

Life today is fast-paced, harassed and demanding.
All too often, caught up in the daily race, we don't leave time to set goals, or to develop
the tools and habits to achieve them. Coaching draws on the successful world of sports
coaching to help us focus our personal and professional lives, to bring out our true
strengths and talents, to direct us towards fulfillment of that which can enrich us and
expand our horizons.

" With too much data, too many demands, and too much competition, is it any wonder that people today are looking for ways to stop and smell the roses?"
Nick Campbell, Director, Corporate & Public Affairs, Johnson & Johnson.

Join the leaders
In the US and Europe, coaching is a respected and widely employed technique for setting and achieving goals. Over 1,000,000 people are benefiting from the services of a personal coach.
Major corporations such as IBM and AT&T provide personal coaching services to their employees.

How do you benefit when you work with a personal life coach?
· You listen to yourself and take your dreams more seriously.
· You take concrete, focused steps…immediately!
· You set yourselves goals, which are both realistic and ambitious.
· You stop compromising and sidestepping, moving on a direct,
· fixed course towards your goals.
· You check yourself and your goals regularly, draw on new strengths and energies.
· As you succeed, you are encouraged to set new and higher goals.

How can you, an executive, benefit from working with a personal business coach?
· You clearly formulate the steps required to realize your company's vision.
· You set yourself medium-term goals and fixed timetables for realizing them.
· You take firm, focused steps…immediately!
· You strengthen your corporate team spirit, transforming your company into an organization with a driving mission.
· You stop compromising and sidestepping, you stay the course.
· You assess your achievements regularly and gain confidence and vitality as you move to achieve new, more challenging goals.

Working with a coach
Coaching can be implemented through personal face-to-face meetings, telephone meetings, via e-mail and through intensive workshops. Typically, you participate in a coaching session once a week over a period of three to six months.

At the end of this time, you will be amazed at the remarkable progress you have made. Organizations, operating in a world of constant change, often choose to continue benefiting from coaching services, as they strive to set and meet new goals.

Consultation is not enough…

About Sara Arbel
Sara Arbel, a consultant for many years, with a degree in Marketing and Consumer Psychology, became convinced that traditional consulting techniques were not achieving their goals. Sara took a critical decision to explore the world of coaching, studying at Coach University in the US. Sara now provides coaching services to individuals, hi-tech companies and organizations.

Sara's rich career includes work as a consultant in the aerospace, electro-optics, fashion, energy, medical, engineering and fine arts industries.

AS BERNARD SHAW PUT IT SO WISELY: " TAKE CARE TO GET WHAT YOU LIKE OR YOU WILL END BY LIKING WHAT YOU GET".

About – SARA ARBEL

Sara Arbel, a consultant for many years, with a degreein Marketing and Consumer
Psychology, became convinced that traditional consulting techniques were not achieving
their goals. Sara took a critical decision to explore the world of coaching, studying at
Coach University in the US. Sara now provides coaching services to individuals,
hi-tech companies and organizations.

Sara's rich career includes work as a consultant in the aerospace, electro-optics,
fashion, energy, medical, engineering and fine arts industries.

AS BERNARD SHAW PUT IT SO WISELY:
" TAKE CARE TO GET WHAT YOU LIKE OR YOU WILL END BY LIKING WHAT YOU GET".

Sara Arbel, a graduate of Coach University in the U.S., who has developed successful
methods of her own, is a long time member of the university's faculty,
where implemented her methods.
Sara Arbel currently belongs to the staff of lecturers and teachers at the largest organization in the world dedicated to the training of coaches.
Students come from all over the world – Australia, the U.S., U.K., Europe, Saudi Arabia and the U.A.E., Japan, Singapore and China. She has become world-renowned in the field of coaching due to her ideals of professionalism, excellence and adherence to methodology.

Sara Arbel currently belongs to a small minority of coaches in the world who have been awarded the title of Master Certified Coach by ICF and she is currently a member of the judging team of the International Coach Federation, ICF, which is responsible for certifying coaches.

Personal Coaching
I, Sara Arbel, as your personal coach, will:

listen to you and take your dreams seriously.

help you take, concrete, focused steps…immediately!

help set set with you goals, which are both realistic and ambitious.

help you stop compromising and sidestepping, move on a direct, fixed course towards your goals.

check your goals regularly, and help you draw on new strengths and energies.
and as you succeed, you will be encouraged to set new and higher goals.

The journey – a collection of selected jewels which faith has brought into my life through the path of my journey into my individual evolution. Extracted from Erich Fromm and M. Sckot Peck

Life is a series of problems.
Do we want to moan about them or solve them?
Without discipline we can solve nothing.
Problems, depending upon their nature evoke in us:
Frustration, grief, sadness, loneliness, guilt, regret, anger, fear, anxiety, anguish or despair.
These feelings are very uncomfortable and painful as any worst kind of physical pain. Because of the pain that conflicts create for us, we call it problems. And since life poses an endless series of problems, life is always difficult and is full of pain as well as joy.

Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure.
Problems call forth our courage and our wisdom.
It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually.

It is through the pain of confronting and resolving them that we learn:
“ Those things that hurt, instruct”. Wise people welcome problems and actually welcome the pain of problems.

The tendency to avoid problems and emotional suffering in them is the primary basis of all human mental illness. Since most of us have this tendency to a greater or lesser degree, most of us are mentally ill to a greater or lesser degree, lacking complete mental health.

Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering. When we avoid the legitimate suffering those results from dealing with problems, we also avoid the growth that problems demand from us.
It is for this reason that in chronic mental illness we stop growing, we become stuck. And without healing, the human spirit begins to shrivel.
What is this discipline, those tools, these techniques that teach us how to suffer and grow with it.

1. DELAYING OF GRATIFICATION.
2. ACCEPTANCE OF RESPONSIBILITY.
3. DEDICATION TO TRUTH.
4.BALANCING.

The problem lies not in the complexity of these tools but in the will to use them. For they are tools with which pain is confronted rather than avoided, and if one seeks to avoid legitimate suffering, then one will avoid the use of these tools.
One who avoids all painful issues, has a pattern of failure that frequently lands him in disastrous marriages, in accidents, in psychiatric hospitals or in jail.

Self-discipline is self-caring, when one considers oneself valuable one will take care of oneself in all ways that are necessary.
When we feel ourselves valuable, then we will feel our time to be valuable and will want to use it well, we will organize it and protect it and make maximum use of it.

Problems do not go away, they must be worked through or else they remain forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit.

To willingly confront a problem early, before we are forced to confront it by circumstances, means to put aside something pleasant or less painful for something more painful. It is choosing to suffer now in the hope of future gratification rather than choosing to continue present gratification in the hope that future suffering will not be necessary.

We cannot solve life’s problems except by solving them.

 The neurotic assumes too much responsibility,
 The person with a character disorder not enough ,
 When a neurotic is in conflict with the world he automatically assumes that he is at fault,
 When a character-disordered person is in a conflict with the world he automatically assumes that the world is at fault.
 A neurotic always ‘ ought to” “should” “shouldn’t “ –
 The character disordered one, goes; “I can’t “ “ couldn’t “ or “ I had to” “ I have to”.
 The neurotic portrays as an , inferior
 And the character disordered as a being that has no power of choice whose behavior is completely directed by external forces totally beyond his control.
 Neurotics make themselves miserable
 Those with character disorder make everyone else miserable.

No problem can be solved until an individual assumes the responsibility for solving it.

IF YOU ARE NOT PART OF THE SOLUTION, THEN YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM.

The difficulty we have in accepting responsibility for our behavior lies in the desire to avoid the pain of the consequences of that behavior.

Whenever we seek to avoid the responsibility for our own behavior, we do so by attempting to give that responsibility to some other individual, organization or entity.

But that means that we give away our power to that entity, be it fate or society or government or corporation or boss.
It is for this reason that – ERICH FROM – titled his study of Natsizm
And Authoritarianism – ESCAPE FROM FREEDOM -. In attempting to avoid the pain of responsibility, millions and even billions daily attempt to escape from FREEDOM. The escape from freedom is the root of -sense of impotence – they are impotent because they have in fact given their power away.

In attempting to avoid the pain of responsibility, millions and even billions daily attempt to escape from freedom.

Most of the patients come to psychiatrists with one common problem, the sense of helplessness, the fear and inner conviction of being unable to cope and to change things. One of the roots of this sense of impotence in the majority of patients is some desire to partially or totally escape the pain of freedom, and, therefore, some failure, partial or total, to accept responsibility for their problems and their lives.

They feel impotent because they have, in fact, given their power away.

Sooner or later, if they are to be healed, they must learn that the entirety of one’s adult life is a series of personal choices, decisions.

If they can accept this totally, then they become free people. To the extent that they do not accept this they will forever feel themselves victims.

If our lives are to be healthy and our spirits are to grow, we must be dedicated to truth, for truth is reality. That which is false is unreal.
The more clearly we see the reality of the world, the better equipped we are to deal with the world.
Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there.

The more effort we make to appreciate and perceive reality, the larger and more accurate our maps will be. But many do not want to make this effort.
Some stop making it by the end of adolescence. Their maps are small and sketchy their views of the world narrow and misleading.
By the end of middle age most people have given up the effort. They feel certain that their maps are complete and their compass is correct.
Only a relative and fortunate few continue until the moment of death exploring the mystery of reality, ever enlarging and refining and redefining their understanding of the world and what is true.
But the biggest problem of map making is not that we have to start from scratch, but that if our maps are to be accurate we have to continually revise them. The world itself is constantly changing.
If we are to incorporate this information, we must continually revise our maps.
Sometimes when enough new information has accumulate, we must make very major revisions. The process of making revisions, articulately major revisions, is painful, sometimes excruciatingly painful.
What we do more often than not, and usually unconsciously, is to ignore the new information.
Rather than change the map an individual may try to destroy the new reality.
Sadly, such a person may expend much more energy ultimately in defending an outmoded view of the world than would have been required to revise and correct it in the first place.
To have such discipline, we must be totally dedicated to truth. That is to say that we must always hold truth, as best we can determine it, to be more important, more vital to our self- interest, than our comfort.
Conversely, we must always consider our personal discomfort relatively unimportant and, indeed, even welcome it in the service of the search for truth. Mental health is an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all costs.

What does a life of total dedication to the truth mean?
It means, first of all a life of continuous and never-ending stringent self-examination.
We know the world only through our relationship to it.
Therefore, to know the world, we must not only examine it but we must simultaneously examine the examiner.
The life of wisdom must be a life of contemplation combined with action.
A life of total dedication to the truth also means a life of willingness to be personally challenged…
The only way that we can be certain that our map of reality is valid is to expose it to the criticism and challenge of other mapmakers.
Otherwise we live in a closed system within a bell jar.
The third thing that a life of total dedication to the truth means, therefore, is a life of total honesty.
It means a continuous and never ending process of self monitoring to assure that our communications, not only the words that we say but also the way we say them, invariably reflect as accurately as humanly possible the truth or reality as we know it.

First never speak falsehood.

Second, bear in mind that the act of withholding the truth is always potentially a lie, and that in each instance in which the truth is withheld a significant moral decision is required.

Third, the decision to withhold the truth should never be based on personal needs, such as a need for power, a need to be liked or a need to protect one’s map from challenge.

Fourth, and conversely, the decision to withhold the truth must always be based entirely upon the needs of the person or people from whom the truth is being withheld.

Fifth, the assessment of another’s needs is an act of responsibility, which is so complex that it can only be executed wisely when one operates with genuine love for the other.

Sixth, the primary factor in the assessment of another’s needs is the assessment of that person’s capacity to utilize the truth for his or her own spiritual growth.

Finally, in assessing the capacity of another to utilize the truth for personal spiritual growth, it should be borne in mind that our tendency is generally to underestimate rather than overestimate this capacity.
Open people are continually growing people, because they never speak falsely they can be secure and proud in the knowledge that they have done nothing to contribute to the confusion of the world, but have served as sources of illumination and clarification. They are totally free to be. They are not burdened by any need to hide. They do not have to slink around in the shadows. They do not have to construct new lies to hide old ones. And ultimately they find that the energy required for the self-discipline of honesty is far less than the energy required for secretiveness.

The more honest one is, the easier it is to continue being honest, just as the more lies one has told, the more necessary it is to lie again. By their openness, people dedicate to truth live in the open, and through the exercise of their courage to live in the open, they become free from fear.

To be free people we must assume total responsibility for ourselves, but in doing so must possess the capacity to reject responsibility that is not truly ours. To be organized and efficient, to live wisely, we must daily delay gratification and keep an eye on the future, yet to live joyously we must also possess the capacity, when it is not destructive, to live in the present and act spontaneously. In other words, discipline itself must be disciplined.

Only with anger can we survive. We must possess the capacity to express our anger in different ways.

As we negotiate the curves and corners of our lives, we must continually give up parts of ourselves. The only alternative to this giving up is not to travel at all on the journey of life.
Giving up is the most painful of human experiences.
These are major forms of giving up that are required if one is to travel very far on the journey of life.

The major conditions desires and attitudes that must be given up in the course of a wholly successful evolving lifetime:

The state of infancy, in which no external demands, need be responded to.
The fantasy of omnipotence.
The desire for total possession of one’s parents.
The dependency of childhood.
Distorted images of one’s parents
The omnipotentiality of adolescence
The freedom of uncommitment
The agility of youth
The sexual attractiveness and potency of youth
The fantasy of immortality
Authority over one’s children
Various forms of temporal power
The independence of physical health
And, ultimately, the self and life itself.

It is in the giving up of self that human beings can find the most ecstatic and lasting, solid, durable joy of life. And it is death that provides life with all its meaning. This secret is the central wisdom.

For all that is given up more is gained. The pain of giving up is the pain of death, but death of the old is birth of the new. The pain of death is the pain of birth, and the pain of birth is the pain of death.

This lifetime is a series of simultaneous deaths and births.

If we can live with the knowledge that death is our constant companion, travelling on our 'left shoulder', then death can become our 'ally', still fearsome but continually a source of wise counsel. With death's counsel, the constant awareness of the limit of our time to live and love, we can always be guided to make the best use of our time and live life to the fullest. But if we are unwilling to fully face the fearsome presence of death on our left shoulder, we deprive ourselves of its counsel and cannot possibly live or love with clarity. When we shy away from death, the ever-changing nature of things, we inevitably shy away from life.

The farther one travels on the journey of life, the more births one will experience, and therefore the more deaths- the more joy and the more pain.

Once suffering is completely accepted it ceases in a sense to be suffering.

Love = the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.

The act of loving is an act of self- evolution even when the purpose of the act is someone else’s growth. It is through reaching toward evolution that we evolve.
This unitary definition of love includes self-love with love for the other. Since I am human and you are human, to love humans means to love myself as well as you.
And this therefore means dedication to the development of others as well as our own.
We are incapable of loving another unless we love ourselves, just as we are incapable of teaching our children self-discipline unless we ourselves are self-disciplined.
We cannot be source of strength unless we nurture our own strength.
Self love and love of others go hand in hand but ultimately they are indistinguishable.
The more we love, the more blurred becomes the distinction between the self and the world. We become identified with the world. And as our ego boundaries become blurred and thinned, we begin more and more to experience the same sort of feeling of ecstasy that we have when our ego boundaries partially collapse and we’ fall in love’.
Only instead of having merged temporarily and unrealistically with a single beloved object, we have merged realistically and more permanently with much of the world.
It is impossible to really see the unity of the universe as long as one continues to see oneself as a discrete object, separate and distinguishable from the rest of the universe in any way, shape or form.

Ego boundaries must be hardened before they can be softened.
An identity must be established before it can be transcended.
One must find one’s self before one can lose it.

The temporary release from ego boundaries associated with falling in love, sexual intercourse or drugs, may provide a glimpse of NIRVANA but – NIRVANA or the lasting enlightenment or true spiritual growth can be achieved only through the persistent exercise of real love.

Dependency –
When you require another individual for your survival, you are a parasite on that individual.
There is no choice, no freedom involved in your relationship. It is a matter of necessity rather than love. Love is the free exercise of choice. Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other.
Dependency in physically healthy adults is pathological – it is sick, always a manifestation of a mental illness or defect. It is to be distinguished from what are commonly referred to, as dependence needs or feelings.
When they do rule our lives and dictate the quality of our existence, and then we have something more than just dependency needs or feelings, we are dependent.

Specifically, one whose life is ruled and dictated by dependency needs suffers from a psychiatric disorder – passive dependent personality disorder-.

People with this disorder are like starving people, scrounging wherever they can for food, and with no food of their own to give to others. It is as if within them they have an inner emptiness, a bottomless pit crying out to be filled but which can never be completely filled. They always feel -a part of me is missing-. They tolerate loneliness very poorly. Because of their lack of wholeness they have no real sense of identity and they define themselves solely by their relationships.
Passive dependent people lack self- discipline. They are unwilling or unable to delay gratification of their hunger for attention. In their desperation to form and preserve attachments they throw honesty to the winds. They cling to outworn relationships when they should give them up. Most important, they lack a sense of responsibility for themselves. They passively look to others, frequently even their own children, as the source of their happiness and fulfillment, and therefore when they are not happy or fulfilled they basically feel that others are responsible. Consequently, they are endlessly angry, because they endlessly feel let down by others who can never in reality fulfill all their needs or make them happy.
Allowing yourself to be dependent on another person is the worst possible thing you can do to yourself. You would be better off being dependent on heroin.
If you expect another person to make you happy, you’ll be endlessly disappointed!

Whenever we think of ourselves as doing something for someone else, we are in some way denying our own responsibility. Whatever we do is done because we choose to-do it, and we make that choice because it is the one that satisfies us the most.
Whatever we do for someone else we do because it fulfils a need we have.
Love is both selfish and unselfish at the same time.
It is not selfishness or unselfishness that distinguishes love from nonlove; it is the aim of the action. In the case of genuine love the aim is always spiritual growth. In the case of nonlove the aim is always something else.

Love is an action, an activity.
Love is not a feeling.
Love is as love does.
Love and non-love, as good and evil, are objective and not purely subjective phenomena.

Love, then, is a form of work or a form of courage.
It is work or courage directed toward the nurture of our own or another’s spiritual growth.
IF an act of love is not one of work or courage, then it is not an act of love. There are no exceptions.
When we love another we give him or her our attention, we attend to that person’s growth.
When we love ourselves we attend to our own growth.
When we attend to someone we are caring for that person.
The act of attending requires that we make the effort to set aside our existing preoccupations and actively shift our consciousness.
Attention is an act of will, of work against the inertia of our own minds.
By far the most common and important way in which we can exercise our attention is by listening.
Listening well is an exercise of attention and by necessity hard work.
True listening, total concentration on the other, is always a manifestation of love.
An essential part of true listening is the discipline of bracketing, the temporary giving up or setting aside of owns own prejudices, frame of reference and desires so as to experience as far as possible the speaker’s world from the inside, stepping inside his or her shoes.

This unification of speaker and listener is actually an extension and enlargement of ourselves, and new knowledge is always gained from this.
Moreover, since true listening involves bracketing, a setting aside of the self, it also temporarily involves a total acceptance of the other. Sensing this acceptance, the speaker will feel less and less vulnerable and more and more inclined to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener.
What we are usually doing is listening selectively, with a preset agenda in mind, wondering as we listen how we can achieve certain desired results and get the conversation over with as quickly as possible or redirected in ways more satisfactory to us.
Since love is work, the essence of nonlove is laziness.

Since love is extending oneself, it requires a moving out against the interia of laziness (work) or the resistance engendered by fear (courage). The courage of love.

Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the making of action in spite of fear, the moving out against the resistance engendered by fear into the unknown and into the future.
On some level spiritual growth, and therefore love, always requires courage and involves risk.

If we can live with the knowledge that death is our constant companion, travelling on our ' LEFT SHOULDER' then death can become in the words of Don Juan, our
'Ally', still fearsome but continually a source of wise counsel.
With death's counsel, the constant awareness of the limit of our time to live and love, we will always be guided to make the best use of our time and live life to the fullest.

When we shy away from death, we inevitably shy away from life.
Of the thousands, maybe millions, of risks we can take in a lifetime the greatest is the risk of growing up. It is a leap that many people never really take in their lifetimes.

The only security in life lies in relishing life's insecurity, EVEN IF IT MEANS BEING CRAZY AND OUT OF STEP WITH THAT ENTIRE SEEMED HOLY. FOR YOU HAVE DECIDED TO BE YOU. YOU REST. YOU HAVE TAKEN THE LEAP INTO THE UNKNOWN; YOU HAVE TAKEN THE DESTINY INTO YOUR OWN HANDS.

In daring to be different, even if it meant to be crazy.

It is only when one has taken the leap into the unknown of total selfhood, psychological
Independence and unique individuality that one is free to proceed along still higher paths of spiritual growth and free to manifest love in its greatest dimensions.

THE HIGHEST FORMS OF LOVE ARE INEVITABLY TOTALLY FREE CHOICES AND NOT ACTS OF CONFORMITY.

Self-discipline derives from love, which is a form of will.
Not only that the self discipline is a form of love translated into action, but also that any genuine lover behaves with self discipline and any genuinely loving relationship is a disciplined relationship.
The fact that a feeling is uncontrolled is no indication whatsoever that it is any deeper than a feeling that is disciplined. To the contrary, " shallow brooks are noisy" and " still waters run deep" – we must not assume that someone whose feelings are modulated and controlled is not a passionate person.
We are the masters of our feelings; the art of self-discipline is the art of a mastermind.
One's feelings are the source of one's energy, they provide the horsepower, or slave power, that makes it possible for us to accomplish the tasks of living.
Since they work for us, we should treat them with respect. Nurturing them with good food, shelter and medical care, listening and responding to their voices, encouraging them, inquiring as to their health, yet also organizing them, limiting them, deciding clearly between them, directing them and teaching them, all the while leaving no doubt as to who is the boss. This is the path of healthy self-discipline.

Genuine love is precious, and those who are capable of genuine love know that their loving must be focused as productively as possible through self – discipline.

The more I nurture the spiritual growth of others, the more my own spiritual growth is nurtured. I am a totally selfish human being. I never do something for somebody else but that I do it for myself. And as I grow through love, so grows my joy, ever more present, ever more constant.

Any genuinely loving relationship is one of mutual psychotherapy.

All human interactions are opportunities either to learn or to teach. And when they neither learn nor teach in an interaction they are passing up an opportunity.

Human beings, who must deal with each other, have vastly different views as to the nature of reality, yet each one believes his or her own view to be the correct one since it is based on the microcosm of personal experience.
And to make matters worse, most of us are not even fully aware of our own views, much less the uniqueness of the experience from which they are derived.

These assumptions to the human nature dictated the negotiating between the Americans and the Russians. Yet neither side was aware of its own assumptions or the fact that the other side was operating on a different set of assumptions. The inevitable result was that each side seemed to the other to be equally crazy or evil.

We are indeed like the three proverbial blind men, each in touch with only his particular piece of the elephant yet each claiming to know the nature of the whole beast. So we squabble over our different microcosmic world – views, and all wars are holy wars.

In order to escape the microcosm of our previous experience and free ourselves from transference, it is necessary that we learn.
We must incorporate new information.
The learning of something new, requires a giving up of the old self and death of outworn knowledge.
To develop a broader vision we must kill our narrower vision.
The path to self- discovery lies through questioning everything.
Science is a religion of skepticism. To escape from our childhood experience, from the microcosm of our culture, and its dogmas, from the half-truths, it is essential that we be skeptical about what we think we have learned to date. It is the scientific attitude- we must become scientists. For the track record, the belief in God looks pretty poor.
We see dogmatism, inquisitions, persecutions, hypocrisy, killing in the name of faith, brutality, rituals, lining pockets at the expense of others, fear, guilt, insanity.
What happens to one's belief in God as one grows and matures?
Is God a common form of human psychopathology that should be healed?
Is it what God has done to humans or what humans have done to God?
Is it belief in God, we need to be healed of, or is it dogmatism?
Is it possible that the path of spiritual growth that proceeds from religious superstition to scientific skepticism may indeed ultimately lead to a genuine religious reality?
We are all individuals, but we are also parts of a greater whole, united in something vast and beautiful beyond description.
Perception of the miraculous is the subjective essence of self-realization, the root from which man's highest features and experiences grow.

Through a complex of factors, our conscious self-concept almost always diverges to a greater or lesser degree from the reality of the person we actually are. We are almost always either less or more competent than we believe ourselves to be. The unconscious, however, knows who we really are. A major and essential task in the process of bringing one's conscious self- concept into progressively greater congruence with reality. When a large part of this lifelong task is accomplished the individual feels as if he discovered himself.
If we identify our self with our self concept or self awareness or consciousness in general, then we must say concerning the unconscious that there is part of us that is wiser than we are.
The fact is that our unconscious is wiser than we are about everything.
Grace resides in the unconscious mind of the individual and the whole cosmos.
It is simply because we are scientists that we have difficulty locating grace. The religious, who of course, ascribe the origins of grace to God, believing it to be literally God's love, have through the ages had the same difficulty locating God.

Beautifully described by the fourteenth – century Dame Julian, describing the relationship between grace and the individual entity: " for as the body is clad in the cloth, and the flesh in the skin and the bones in the flesh and the heart in the whole, so are we, soul land body, clad in the goodness of God and enclosed. Yea, and more homely; for all these may wear and waste away, but the Goodness if God is ever whole."
A force other than our conscious will is assisting our growth as human beings.
For the biggest miracle of all is the growth process of all life itself, to which we have given the name evolution.
Evolving as individuals we carry humanity on our backs. And so humanity evolves.
Those who achieve growth not only enjoy the fruits of growth but give the same fruits to the world.
It is through love that we elevate ourselves. And it is through our love for others that we assist others to elevate themselves. It is evolution in progress. The evolutionary force, present in all of life, manifests itself in mankind as human love.
For love is conscious, but grace is not.
We are growing toward Godhood. God is the goal of evolution. He wants us to become himself. He is the beginning and the end.
By this belief we will have trapped ourselves, at least until death, one an effortful treadmill of self- improvement and spiritual growth. God's responsibility must be our own. It is no wonder that the belief in the possibility of Godhood is repugnant.
The idea that God is actively nurturing us so that we might grow up to be like Him brings us face to face with our own laziness.
If we do not overcome laziness, we will not evolve.
Laziness is love's opposite.
No matter how energetic, ambitious or even wise we may be' if we truly look into ourselves we will find laziness lurking at some level.
A major form that laziness takes is fear.
Much of our fear is fear of change in the status quo, a fear that we might lose what we have if we venture forth from where we are now.
Within each and every one of us there are two selves, one sick and one healthy – the life urge and the death urge, if you will. Each of us represents the whole human race; within each of us is the instinct for godhood and the hope for mankind, and within each of us is the original sin of laziness, the ever – present force of entropy pushing us back to childhood, to the womb and to the swamps from which we have evolved.
Truly evil people, on the other hand, actively rather than passively avoid extending themselves. They will take any action in their power to protect their own laziness, to preserve the integrity of their sick self. Rather than nurturing others, they will actually destroy others in this cause.
Naturally there are conflicting forces those extremes that will be locked in combat; it is as natural for evil to hate goodness as t is for goodness to hate evil.
The essential part of discipline is the development of an awareness of our responsibility and power of choice.
If you desire wisdom greater than your own, you can find it inside you. The God within us. The point is to get in touch with our unconscious God as a conscious individual.
The conscious is the executive part of our total being. It is the conscious that makes decisions and translates them into action.
We will then have become one form of the grace of God, creating love where love did not exist before, pulling our fellow creatures up to our own level of awareness, pushing the plane of human evolution forward.
It is the capacity to make decisions with maximum awareness. It is consciousness.
Most people most of the time make decisions with little awareness of what they are doing. They take action with little understanding of their own motives and without beginning to know the ramifications of their choices.
In the political arena actions taken with the best intentions will often backfire and prove harmful in the end; or that people with scurrilous motives may promote a seemingly wicked cause that ultimately turns out to be constructive.
Is it any better to do the right thing for the wrong reasons than the wrong thing for the right reasons? We are often most in the dark when we are the most certain, and the most enlightened when we are the most confused.
Some should continue to drift, as if no course could possibly be charted in such a vast sea, which would bring us to any true clarity or meaningful destination.
But others know that they are lost, dare to hope that they can work themselves out of ignorance through developing even greater awareness.
They are correct, it is possible.
If this path is followed long and earnestly enough, the pieces of knowledge begin to fall into place. Gradually things begin to make sense. There are blind alleys, disappointments; concepts arrived at only to be discarded. But gradually it is possible for us to come to a deeper and deeper understanding of what our existence is all about.
There is no greater satisfaction than that of being an expert, of really knowing what we are doing. Those who have grown the most spiritually are those who are the experts in living.
Those who have chosen the path of spiritual growth will facilitate their journey in at least three ways: it will help them to take advantage of grace along the way; it will give them a surer sense of direction; and it will provide encouragement.
Through grace we are helped not to stumble and through grace we know that we are being welcomed.
What else can we ask? – M. SCOTT PECK jewels from: " The road less traveled"
"Into the hands of every individual is given a marvelous power for good and evil – the silent, unconscious, unseen influence of his life. This is simply the constant radiation of what man really is, not what he pretends to be" -William George Jordan.

"What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say."- Emerson

Eventually, if there isn't deep integrity and fundamental character strength, the challenges of life will cause true motives to surface and human relationship failure will replace short – term success.
It is character that communicates most eloquently.
Sincere clearheaded people see things differently, each looking through the unique lens of experience.
The more aware we are of our basic assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility to examine them , test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view.
Almost every significant breakthrough in the field of scientific endeavor is first a break with tradition, with old way of thinking.
What we see is highly interrelated to what we are. We can't go very far to change our seeing without simultaneously changing our being, and vise versa.
The Character Ethics is based on the fundamental idea that there are principles that govern human effectiveness – natural laws in the human dimension that are just as real, just as unchanging and unarguably "there" as laws such as gravity are in the physical dimension.
These principles are like lighthouses, they are natural laws that cannot be broken, – we can only break ourselves against the law. They are laws which are part of the human condition, par to the human consciousness, part of the human conscience, these are guidelines for human conduct the t are proven to have enduring, permanent value.

Fairness.
Integrity and honesty.
Human dignity.
Service.
Quality, excellence.
Potential.
Patience.
Nurturance.
Encouragement
Practices
Values (principles are the territories, values are the maps)

In the words of Erich From : " today we come across an individual who behaves like an automation, who does not know or understand himself, and the only person that he knows is the person that he is supposed to be, whose meaningless chatter has replaced communicative speech, whose synthetic smile has replaced genuine laughter , and whose sense of dull despair has taken the place of genuine pain. Two statements may be said concerning this individual. One is that he suffers from defects of spontaneity and individuality, which may seem to be incurable. At the same time it may be said of him he does not differ essentially from the millions of the rest of us who walk upon this earth."

Thoreau thought:" how can we remember our ignorance, which our growth requires, when we are using our knowledge all the time."

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